Thursday, March 15, 2012


Today was a terrible day.
First, I backed into a parked car... totally my fault.
Then, I went to Walmart and was stalked through traffic and all the way to the parking lot by a creepy older man who kept smiling and nodding at me. I had to hide in the bathroom.
Then, I went to work and heard about how much the managers have been talking shit about me because of something completely stupid and not even my fault in the first place.

I'm just exhausted. I feel like I've been crying or in tears all day... and I keep wondering why this is happening to me, like did I do something wrong and now God (if he exists) is punishing me?

The only punishment I'd like to come home to would be a nice bare bottomed caning... that sounds about right. And some hugging would be nice too.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Korean Spanking Videos

I believe these are the first Korean videos I have ever seen:

Obviously, the leg/thigh spanking concept is an Asian thing... it's the historical corporal punishment choice in school settings, at home... the second video barely seems like a sexual thing. I actually wonder if it's a real punishment video of a child. But it's probably not.

The first one is unique in that it's 2 Korean women engaging together. Two very big taboos in Asian culture (possible homosexual preferences and S&M). It fascinates me, especially since the top says, "I'm going to give you a couple more so just bear it," and "You have 3 more, just bear it," almost like she's giving her a root canal or something, not a punishment.


I've been getting a few questions about whether I am Asian and if so, what kind. Your deepest, darkest fears are confirmed. I'm Asian. More specifically, I am Korean.
The "problem" is that when people see me, they expect a certain thing, especially in the bedroom.

It's true that I am definitely Korean, ethnically, but I am mostly American. I was born in the US, and I grew up pretty blue collar... which is something a lot of people can't fathom.
That's okay. I'm fine with that, because then I can freak people out when I scream "Free Bird!" at concerts for fun, and they see I am terrible at math, but great at driving.
As for sex? The Asian Girl falls into 2 categories: wild, daddy-issues sexpot OR submissive geisha lady.
I have been "into" spanking for as long as I can remember, and back when I had those free AOL CDs, I would type "spanking" into search engines and chat rooms, to see if I was normal. When I was a teenager, I was able to watch a few spanking trailers, read a few spanking stories... and then one day, the Internet exploded. And a few spanking sites became... MANY spanking sites.
But still, it was mostly white people enjoying their white people spankings. Of course, I identified more as a "white" person, or at least Americanized... so I didn't have a problem with this. Then one day, years and years later, I stumbled across, and lo and behold, there was a Korean video.


I guess it's hard to explain... I always felt more American, but I also knew that people don't immediately perceive me this way. So I would sit at night, wondering how I could be interested in spanking when I have never heard of any Koreans being "into" it, wondering if I was the only Korean girl in the world.
Now that I know it's not as uncommon in the Asian world... I am both relieved and also conflicted.

I hate the notion of non-Asian men liking me or being interested in me just because I am Asian and they think I will be a purring little kitty who loooooves to give massages. And I also hate the idea that I will find a spanko who wants to spank me because he thinks I'll be a real-life bad Sailor Moon school girl.

YES- I am submissive. But not because I am Asian.

I don't care to be in a relationship with a very culturally Korean man, but at the same time, I wonder what it would be like to talk about it with him. As white as I think I am... I guess I'm not.

Thursday, March 8, 2012


이런 사랑은 참 이상하다.
"오빠... 나 좀 때려줘..."
"오빠... 나...그거 해줘..."
"오빠... 아... 씨발...."
어떻게 표현을 해야 할까?